Saturday 5 August 2017, week 12: Buldir Island
Dear Olympus TG-4,
Normally I wouldn’t say anything about how discontent I am with you, but enough is enough. Your problems have driven me so far that I nearly cast you down to die on the rocks of Main Talus. It honestly would have made me very happy, but I have a few weeks left on Buldir, and sometimes your work is adequate enough; I’ll keep you around until I’m back in civilization. After that, you can expect that I will not resemble the Steph most people know when I destroy you. I’m looking forward to it!
Even though he told me about you and made the sale, I don’t blame my friend for my disappointment in you. In fall 2015 I was looking for a new point-and-shoot camera and decided to go for a shockproof-waterproof-extreme durability model for my outdoor-oriented life. Olympus had created you, the TG-4, and had received pretty good reviews for its work, if I remember correctly. After spending time researching you, I decided you would be worth the slightly higher price tag. Oh boy, was I ever wrong.
How much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways:
1. When I researched your specs, you were touted to have the ability to shoot in RAW format. Too bad your RAW is too new and different to be compatible with my Adobe programs.
2. For as long as I can remember, you’ve sometimes decided when to end my movie recording instead of working until I tell you I’m done. I’ve checked many times, and you don’t quit only when there’s no room remaining on the memory card. No, rather, there seems to be no rhyme or reason to when I’m in charge or you’re in charge.
3. You’re a camera. Therefore your primary function is to capture shots of the world around me. Why do you often change the tones of the colors to something other than what I see with the naked eye? More importantly, why will you capture the wrong tones, and then turn around to capture the correct colors when I try again 10 seconds later? And then you’ll go ahead and give everything that blue hue again in the next shot! More than anything else, this is why you’re a POS. (Sorry, Mom.)
4. You suck at creating panoramas. My old Nikon point-and-shoot did a better job. My Samsung phone does a better job. A phone’s primary function is to make calls, not outperform a camera!
5. Your low battery indicator gives me a whole 10 minutes of advance warning – if I’m lucky. Usually it’s more like 5 minutes. Thanks for the heads up.
6. For being a waterproof camera, you sure don’t know what to do about humidity or clear blue skies. Last year on Buldir you decided to fog up the lens on our brilliant days. As a result, when it was not foggy, I have some foggy pictures. That’s why I sent you back to Olympus and wanted to thank your maker for the foggy memories.
7. When I sent you in to get fixed shortly before your warranty ended, I thought Olympus had probably identified a few of your problems. The note that came along when you returned to my life was not very informative, and ultimately I think you reverted to your old ways. There have been no “bless the maker” comments from me.
Since I’m generally a happy person who has nobody to whom I need to write hate letters, this has been fun. Really! Kevin and McKenzie have heard my complaints (and apologies for the complaints) for two summers now, so it feels good to get this out to the one who makes me fume. I don’t think I’ve ever had such hateful feelings for an object before. Well done to be the one to get my ginger rage flowing!
Sincerely full of anger,
Steph
PS – I will give you one teeny, tiny thank you for working when I boated across a lagoon and floated through mangrove canals in Reserva de la Biosfera Sian Ka’an on the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. You successfully worked underwater.
PS – To anyone who’s not my camera and still reading this, I had a big smile on my face and hit some keys very emphatically while I wrote. It was fun! But seriously, do not buy this camera.